The Magazine of Your Life

Yes, social media can be a trap. But if you approach it like an editor, it's an invaluable tool for identity, ownership, and most importantly, freedom.

(Some snapshots from my Instagram in September-ish last year)

I was having dinner with an actress about six years ago (you know, one of the shiny, fairy ladies that imprint on you as a teenager. The sort of magical creature who has navigated a 30-something year career and not come out totally demented).

Anyway, we’re sitting in this restaurant, and she tells me, for all her visibility over the years, she is terrified of joining Instagram. She doesn’t feel confident, she feels vulnerable, “I’m not funny, I overthink.” She’s knotting herself up into a pretzel of anxiety right in front of me. And oh man, I get it. Imagine people staring at you for years and years, you fight and finally win some privacy, some mystery even, and then you have to deal with…This Thing?

Like most of the global population, I’d experienced none of these feelings. One, I was not famous, and two, being raised an only child by a single mom - my parents divorced when I was five - made me want to thrust myself into the world, jazz hands jiggling, and make as many friends as possible (at 48, this has remained unchanged. Consistency is… key?). But I remember saying to her, “Instagram is the magazine of your life. You are the editor.”

It was a tidy little comparison, I thought. Too tidy, perhaps. But I believed it then, and I believe it now. You choose what to post, what to share, what to overshare. You decide whether it’s a pretty flower, your hero, a thirst trap, or a cute widdle kitten! You are the editor – you control the visuals, the narrative, and the pace. You wanna go all Ansel Elgort 2019 and post 17 consecutive shirtless selfies? Well, you do you, honey.

There is great currency in that, and ironically, in recent years we have seen that currency transfer from the magazines themselves to the “talent’s” social media. Think of all the actresses who now do professional photo shoots in their glittery gowns before an awards show (Zendaya and her former stylist-still bestie Law Roach are the masters of this). The stylists who shoot BTS glam pics that are of course sanctioned by a whole team (Elizabeth Stewart and longtime client Cate Blanchett’s inspired portraits take the gold here).

All of this has the instant effect of making magazine cover stories look dated. (And they are. By necessity, they are shot weeks or months even before being published. That cover of the lady who just had the baby? That’s six months old). It’s one of the many challenges the industry is facing – that’s why every star on a cover is milked for “viral” social videos or to participate in other brand franchises. Vanity Fair has lie detector tests, GQ has Big Fits, hey, at InStyle I came up with Badass Women. (I’d never heard the word “ass” so much in my life. And it was all my fault).

When I was first hired to run InStyle in 2016, my boss told people, “I knew Laura could put a magazine together, but it’s how she exists on social media that was most compelling to us.” It struck me that an old school executive from Time Inc (which dissolved and was sold only months later) was so oddly prescient. I had, I think, a balanced life on social media, and I knew how to edit my presence there. That’s what got me the job. And it was social media that I always knew was my insurance. If you have your own identity - not an algorithmic one, - you can create a community, and even if your world turns upside down, it’s likely they will stay. By projecting yourself, you can protect yourself.

It all comes down to what has become one of my favorite words, “ownership.” (I’m also fond of “egress,” a.k.a the ability to flee. Page Dr Freud about that one). Also, “independence,” “mobility” and “insurance.” All are some of the most wonderful things about earning your stripes and being a grown-up.

Yes, social media can ruin your life, but only if you let it. Put the phone down and do something that will, wait for it, never appear on your phone. (I will too, just after I go through my comments, I swear). You will be better off mentally, not to mention a more accomplished editor of the magazine of your life.

Oh, my actress friend did join Instagram, by the way. Her first post: her black and white photography. Most recent? A sexy photo shoot. See, everyone comes around eventually.

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The LB’s inaugural C.H.C’s…

CLEVER

Fashion folk and others, check out this genius Aussie resale start up, AirRobe. It builds resale right into a brand’s e-commerce platform. They call it the “Circular Wardrobe,” I call it the future, damnit.

HELPFUL

Support the incredible work of Foot Soldiers Park in Selma, Alabama.
I am a very proud board member.

“Foot Soldiers Park and Education Center exists to honor the giants and unsung heroes of the civil rights movement who lived, fought and made history in Selma and to inspire, educate and nurture the next generation of social justice activists.

In doing so, we aim to improve the wellbeing of the city’s underserved residents by bringing economic opportunities to the city and developing amenities, resources and programs that benefit the community.

Foot Soldiers Park is developing a landmark park, education center and museum that will preserve the history and lessons of the Civil Rights Movement, transform the city of Selma and become a driving force in the present day fight against voter suppression.”

CUTE

The coolest jeans from Kallmeyer NYC.

The jazziest gold pumps from Sezane you can wear with anything.

Easy Dries-y t-shirts from MyTheresa

The leopardiest sweater by Eolas
On my Instagram worn by young up and coming model, Christy Turlington if you wanna see it on a chick.

The glowiest lip and cheek by Doên and RMS Beauty.
(I spent a day with the Doen gals and the brilliant makeup artist Rose Marie Swift the other week and this is magic. Works on everyone!).